So, the wife is pregnant, and the entire household, neighbourhood, country seems to be focused on her sensitive state. Feeling a little, ignored?
We understand.
While it may seem like your role in Project Baby is short-lived, know that these feelings will subside. You are as important to your child as your partner. And you are easily the most important person to your partner right now. Between the raging hormones, nausea, bizarre cravings and the never-felt-before aches and pains that come with pregnancy, she needs solace, a patient ear, a keeper-of-sanity, a best friend and a champion who will support her through this rather strange, unpredictable time.
Listed below, are a few things you can do to ease the pregnancy journey and prepare yourself and your household for your impending arrival. And if done right, prepare to be crowned Best Daddy-to-Be Ever!
Your wife will be going through physical, emotional and mental changes when pregnant. Give her a patient ear and pick up your joke book! Humour fixes most things, even if your jokes are corny!
Lamaze classes are designed to prepare your partner and you for delivery. And while the idea might freak you out, imagine what your wife must be feeling! Through your Lamaze classes, you’ll be walked through a variety of soothing breathing and postural routines that will keep your partner healthy through her pregnancy and delivery.
If you live in a joint family, your wife could benefit from extra help and a little patience. Based on your wife’s condition, she might need help with daily task management and it would be great for her if you and your parents helped out, without piling on any kind of guilt. Speak to them about creating a positive environment at home, for her and the baby. Also use this opportunity to prime them for what’s coming. Grandparents might be expected to take on some major babysitting duties once the little one is here. It’s incredibly important for the health of the baby and mother, that nobody feels like they’re being taken for granted. It’s always better to ask for help rather than expect it.
Once it’s safe for her to travel, book some time away from the daily grind. Holidaying before the baby arrives will give you a chance to reconnect as a couple, rest and sleep before all these seemingly mundane activities disappear from your life, forever. And if travelling is an issue, consider date nights! A great movie or dinner at her favourite restaurant, a fun evening with friends, a well-reviewed play or even just curling up together for a conversation are wonderful experiences to enjoy before the baby comes.
If your wife is a working woman, consider driving her to and from work. Time with you will put her at ease before a working day, and time after will help her destress and unwind. Making her a cup of tea or a meal will earn you major brownie points!
Pregnancy requires frequent trips to the doctor. Be present at these appointments even if she insists otherwise. There’s nothing more magical than hearing your child’s beating heart for the first time! You don’t want to miss these milestones.
If you’re nervous, take solace in the fact that you won’t have a baby coming out of you anytime soon. Get some ‘dad advice’ from friends who’ve been through this before. Read up and rest up! Reassure your wife by packing the hospital bag, making sure you’re packing clothes for her and the new arrival. Make a checklist so that you don’t forget anything important.
Finally, prepare yourself for sleepless nights, bottle washing, nappy changing and all the other moments that will make up the most important role you’ll ever play in your life. There’s a grand old saying that reads, “The best thing you can do for your children is to love their mother”. There is wisdom in this statement. A mother is the heart of a happy home. If you, as her partner, can empower and support her aspirations for her children and herself, a happy little nest is guaranteed!
Happy fathering!
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